I had to go to the Sheriff department, Wal Mart, and hopefully Old Navy. Don’t you worry my husband isn’t in jail, or anything I needed to change something on my police report for our account fraud issue. For those that don’t know, on my birthday I was made aware by our bank that my card had been compromised and the lovely people behind it had drained my checking and my savings account. Happy Birthday to ME! Anyway, I needed to go to Wal Mart to get my oil changed and people watch. Old Navy was so I could spend the gift card that was setting fire to my pocket.
I grabbed the little one, placed him in the ridiculously hot car and headed off on our seemingly easy adventure. We got to the Sheriff’s fine, and my little man was so cute w/ the volunteer behind the counter. So contentedly sitting on my hip waiting for mama to finish. Yes, I held him. It just makes quick stops like this easier. Why bother with the overwhelmingly big stroller when I’m just gonna run in and run out. Back to the story. I was finishing up w/ the volunteer giving him my new bank print out when… I smelled it.
You know. THAT smell. The smell that tells you something MONUMENTAL just happened in your sons pants. And then. My hand was damp. At this moment I was really more concerned for my white shirt than anything else. Any mother knows what a risk it is to wear white, EVER. I wore white today.
I quickly thanked the elderly gentleman and practically ran to the car. I started to take my son’s shorts off thinking that there was only a small spot where he “leaked” only to find the poop had exploded out of his diaper all down his leg. This is the moment where I wished I had a hose. And another pair of shorts. I am not a good mama. I didn’t bring the diaper bag with me. (gasp). Nope. Just diapers & wipes thrown into my black hole of a purse.
I got him cleaned up after a good 10 mins of wiping, but he looked ridiculous. A tee shirt, a diaper, and sandals. No worries I thought. I’m headed to Wal Mart. He’ll FIT RIGHT IN! I would have probably stood out if I’d brought my child fully clothed instead of half naked. And in case you were wondering… my shirt was fine. PTL! We did find a pair of shorts on sale for $1. They didn’t match at all, but hey at lease my son wasn’t bottomless in those oh-so-clean carts.
Didn’t end up getting to Old Navy, but that’s okay, we shared a frozen yogurt instead!
2 thoughts on “Errands”
This is the funniest blog. Maybe u should be a columnist instead of a fabricist! Your words are hilarious. I couldn't wait to read more! Keep it going girl! You say you can't sew but I say you can surely write!!
I think poop and mothering are inseparable and for some reason it seems worse with boys! I'll be looking for you in the next “people of walmart” e-mail I get! LOL!!!